image credit: Jenni Berrett
The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care, love and endless devotion.
The big difference between unicorns and vaginas is that unicorns are a myth and vaginas are not. Unfortunately, you will never learn how to ride a unicorn, but you CAN learn your way around the vagina.
And lord knows, some of you need to learn a thing (or 50) about the vagina. You can never have TOO MUCH vagina knowledge, I always say.
Unlike the delightful phallus, vaginas are a bit more complicated in the pleasure department. Oral sex is nearly every woman’s bread and butter. If a guy is offering oral, I’m going to be down and I think most ladies will agree with me.
If you want your lady to come, GO DOWN ON HER.
I cannot stress this enough. If her partner goes down, she’ll probably keep ‘em around.
There are two main things you should consider when venturing downtown: The G-Spot and the clitoris.
Sure, the vagina can seem a little intimidating, but it really is easy AF to understand once you get the hang of it. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, my friends.
I’ve got some cunnilingus tips for beginners, hot off the press. But let’s face it: about 98% of us need to read this article.
This is Cunnilingus 101: your ultimate guide to going down on women.
1. Some women are into different things: ASK.
When it comes to oral sex, different women will enjoy different things. Some women want a lot of pressure, some do not. One woman may want a finger in her butt, another woman will NOT want that. Some women may be interested in G-Spot stimulation, but others may exclusively enjoy oral clit stimulation.
The way you find out what someone wants is by ASKING. Ask her what makes her feel good. Don’t be shy. Trust me, she will be really impressed that you care so much about making her come.
If she is making sounds of pleasure, that’s a good sign. If she seems to like one thing over another, do whatever that is and don’t stop.
But remember...
THE CLIT IS FOREVER.
The clit is the beacon of female sexual pleasure. Literally, it’s only function is pleasure.
KEEP YOUR TONGUE ON THE CLIT. This is your SAFE SPACE. The clit is the bud-like bump at the top of the vaginal hood, it extends below the pube bone, but the bud is the visible portion.
STAY on the clit. Whether or not your lady is into G-Spot stimulation, she WILL want clitoral stimulation. I repeat: YOU STAY ON THE CLIT UNTIL SHE COMES.
When stimulating the clit with your tongue, stick to circular motions to start. Keep things sensual and measured. You can also run your tongue over it, side to side and up and down.
Do NOT dart your tongue around like a spastic lizard man. Experts agree with me that oral sex takes time and patience. Trying to go down on a woman in the same furious way you jack off will NOT produce a female orgasm, you got it?
2. Caressing the G-Spot.
The most common question I’m asked about the vagina: Where IS the G-Spot? When you’re facing the vagina, slip you middle and index finger into the vaginal opening, palm up. Bend your fingers up in a “come hither motion.”
Right behind the pubic bone you’ll feel a walnut-textured patch. THIS is the G-Spot. It’s simple to find once you reach in there because you can actually physically pull a woman once you’ve hooked your two fingers under the pubic bone. Also, you’ll know you’re there by her reaction. ~Trust me.~
To stimulate the G-Spot, rub in circular motions or simply apply pressure. It adds a sense of fullness that a lot of women love and there are a ton of nerve endings to be found. BUT not every woman enjoys G-Spot stimulation so pay attention to her vocal cues and ASK if she likes what you’re doing.
3. Consistency can be the key to success.
If something is working: STICK to that thing. You don’t need to feel pressured into trying something else. Trust me, if you’re licking her clit, she is NOT bored.
If you’re in the heat of the moment, licking her clit in circles, and she’s moaning, just keep doing that until she has an orgasm. For many women, getting to orgasm is a slow climb, a buildup of pleasure that eventually gets us to orgasm. Getting fancy with it can sometimes disrupt the build to climax, and you do not want that.
4. A vagina is not a piece of fruit.
(At least not the kind you eat)
You have no idea how many times women have told me that their partners have BITTEN them during oral sex. DO NOT DO THIS, OKAY?!
A vagina and a clitoris are not a pineapple, they are not for munching. You are to keep your teeth OUT of this interaction. No woman wants you biting her vagina. (Well, I’m sure there are some women who are into nibbles, but do NOT assume this).
Stick to sucking and licking the clitoris. Do NOT bite it. The vagina is not a chew toy.
Amen. God bless America. The end.
